What kind of name is Perpika?

Summer progress report...

OK What the crap is up with the Sox? Oy.

July 1 already...my friend Lauren, who does work in fundraising for a nonprofit, to be fair, but still, informed us last night at the Pearl Jam show that it was the last day of the fiscal year. Which I knew somewhere in the back of my brain, spending enough time covering budgets and such at the paper, but I wasn't about to mark it on the calendar. So then I had to ask her if they celebrated the Fiscal New Year with champagne and midnight kisses...Am I the nerd or is she?

Summer school is moving along fine...fine for summer school. My hope is that my classes this fall will look like angels next to this crew. I hit the big bucket of balls today at the driving range if that tells you anything...

The indoor team has the week off, so we'll be training at a bar in Quincy. I had hoped to organize a practice, which is really what we need (like any of us need another beer!) but they went over my head on this one.

I went shopping for a bed today; I've been just kind of looking to see how much I have to plan on spending...does anyone else find this an awkward experience? I mean, the Monty Python sketch, of which I am so fond, is that much funnier when you think about how weird a thing it actually is. First of all, the story I visited today, was completely empty except for the guy working, who...(is this hysterical to anyone else?) yawned incessantly. I'm like, "Did I wake you from a nap?" So Sleeping Beauty is telling me, after I basically tell him I just want to look and I'll wake him if I need anything, to lie on all these different beds, which is just really awkward. And then in terms of talking about what kind of bed you like, does anyone else just find that to be a really personal conversation? So it was weird...ugh. Why can't you buy beds without the human interaction?

Here's my plug for my friend Gregg's comedy improv group, The Sixth Borough. They have a website and videos; it's pretty funny stuff. To think, Gregg used to prop his feet up on our shared counter at the paper and how he's practically famous!

Walmart had a radio ad today for steaks, and it featured the line, "Summer costs less here" or something. Yeah, they neglected to mention that summer also sports stretch pants, missing teeth and a sub-100 IQ at Walmart...

Did Eck just say in his post-game about Matt Garza, "You know, he was proud of that gas that he had." I know what he means, it just sounds funny.

OK. [Yawn] I guess I have some quizzes to make. [Yawn].

Concert mania, indoor soccer, boating and summer school...

There's just been way too much going on lately. I can't believe how much of a blur the month of June has been...I mean, two weeks ago was the final week of the regular school year. We had Field Day, where in an awful pie-throwing fundraiser scheme masterminded by my third (and no longer second-favorite) brother Steve, I joined several other teachers wearing black garbage bags on an 85 degree day so that the dairy in the pies being thrown at us would spoil even faster. Even had sour whipped cream in your hair? No, don't answer that, but it's really not pleasant. And I'll leave it at that.

Then there was packing my classroom. One of those times where it becomes evident that, as Laura would put it, I am an "abstract random." To help you picture, she is a "concrete sequential." I had boxes everywhere, stuff everywhere. And that's just how I work. But it was a lot of work, just so next year I can work with a different group of teachers. We'll see.

The Comcast Center has been very busy. We've had already Iron Maiden, Dave Matthews, Pearl Jam, Petty and some other people. It's been OK...last night we had this guy, maybe Italian, maybe French...maybe from Ohio...so hard to tell...screaming and threatening a lawsuit because our bartender cut him off. "This is UNtolerable!! Yes, I think...lawsuit. This is UNtolerable. I think we have lawsuit next." I guess the reason I'm a seasonal waitress and a full-time English teacher rather than a full-time manager is because had he been screaming that at me,  I would have corrected his INacceptable prefix usage before addressing the INprofessional behavior of the bartender (who, by the way sounded even stupider yelling back with a...I dunno Fall River accent?!) and his UNexcusable actions, which make it ILLlikely we'll ever see him again...[Sigh]...we have a break after Pearl Jam tomorrow night, so it'll be nice to have some time off from there. People who work full-time in the hospitality/entertainment industry frighten me.

Many of the teachers from school are playing indoor soccer at Bridgewater this summer, just for fun. Steve and I put the team together, thinking we'd be able to hold our own with any team we'd see. Turns out most of us make better coaches than we do players anymore; we're a bit overmatched. We lost our first game 12-2, we think--they stop the scoreboard after 7 goals or so. My goals against average stinks already. Our next game is Wednesday the 9th, if anyone's looking for free entertainment. I'm not giving refunds though, if one of us fails to break something. Take your chances.

Earlier that day, before our opening match, Scott took me out on his boat, which I've been pestering him to do for just this last year and a half or so. We mostly hung out by Bug Light in Plymouth, which reminded me of a story I had done at the paper about the lighthouse's problem with cormorants nesting on the light and soiling it quite significantly thus causing an eyesore. The solution had been to cover the lighthouse in netting, which, unfortunately, prevented cormorant poop through the most effective means: strangulation. We had photos. And there was this great quote from some woman, like, "I think dead cormorants are pretty unsightly," or something like that. So, long story short: no netting. Lots of cormorants.

I'll be headed out to Seattle this weekend for Tiina's wedding, so that's exciting. And I also finally caught up with Stacey and Nick last weekend, so that was great. And Charlotte let me get close enough to touch her, so that's huge. Nick makes a good burger, too!

Sigh. I really wish I had the energy to make myself sound slightly more interesting than this. Summer school has me still semi-busy. One week down, three to go. The problem kid mostly has been asleep, so so far (touch wood) no major hassles. We'll see. And I actually do have some kids failing. How is that possible??? Guess I should figure out what to teach tomorrow...it's a big game of winging it, which we all know I'm terrific at, but the older kids are a bit harder to fool. Oh well.

All else fails, there's always....BOMBARDMENT!!!

Is it Friday yet?

Today was an absolutely beautiful day. I was tempted to hit the driving range again, like yesterday, but I felt like it was a bit too warm earlier tonight. I actually took the little dog to visit Laura for dinner. I just need to talk her into getting a fire pit so I can go hang out this summer. I have to admit I'm having strong feelings of deck/patio envy. I just really wish I had one. [Sigh] Maybe I do need a wealthy husband.

So I had to chuck a kid today, only the second one in all my time in this school. The first one was a girl who whacked a kid over the head with her purse. This was a kid with a case of the giggles. Try explaining that one to an assistant principal. This kid just behaves like an ass. He's gotten worse and worse, and he's disrespectful in all of our classes. He wasn't really any worse today; I just had had enough. We were doing Show and Tell poems, where the kids bring something in and talk about it and the kids write poems inspired by the things, whether their own or someone else's. And some kids bring in some pretty poignant stories. This kid, from the start, just is laughing convulsively. Like to the point where you swear he's gotta be high. I sat there and stared at him for a solid minute waiting for him to stop. And then I just told him he better just go to the office. Oh well. So I could have gone for hitting a bucket of balls, to get out a little frustration and now I'm wishing I had. Like 11 days.

Clapton is playing tomorrow night, so that should be fun. I did OK at the two shows this weekend.  And I had a guy ask me for his friend to come watch the show from their box and have a drink with them.  He was my age, quote decent looking, but I just always say no to that one.  It's always so awkward. They did still leave me a 40% tip.

So I was looking at my page view stats...I always like to see how many people are looking at my page, and if (either of them) gets to it through a google search. Then you can see what they typed as search terms, and it's always bizarre. Never have I felt more guilty/disgusted than this one though. Here was the search term: wet tee shirt contest (no blurs). OK so you can guess what this person was looking for. How disappointed/confused were they when they actually clicked the link?

This is what the google search showed:

What kind of name is Perpika?

No wonder Rob The Engineer and Nebraska Steve welcomed him into the family ... coach say that if there was a wet tee-shirt contest, I would be the winner. ...
perpika.typepad.com/ - 62k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

How much did their person want his money back when he sees my page and this actual post???
Like, "Who is this girl
with her dog? Why is she bone dry?"
At least it's a nice clear picture of me!
There are some weird searches
that I've found over the years,
and it really makes you wonder who these people are...
I don't think I've ever googled anything
that weird.

But then again, I could probably get away with it...
as the self-proclaimed wet tee shirt contest champion.

Nearly my first concussion...

 Poor Brodyman. He thought softball season was over, so I'd finally be home, but I'm around less than ever this week it seems. Ugh. Almost summer, little man. I have a Vietnamese student, whom I completely adore, and as her English gets better, she makes a point to try conversational English, and today she pointed to a picture of B-man and asked if that was my dog. She apparently has three dogs and three cats...back in Vietnam...poor kid misses her dogs. This girl is brilliant, actually, and I feel like a constant failure that I can't communicate with her better.

So this is what happens when Steve has an idea and I let him run with it. And I mean my third brother, Steve, not the one that lives in Nebraska. This is the Steve I work with (for now anyway) and he's my third brother. Which puts him in the running to beat out Nebraska Steve as my second favorite brother. So I'd have my second favorite brother, Steve. And my second favorite brother [that is named] Steve, putting him third overall. It's complicated. Try to keep up. Anyway, Steve the math teacher is mean to me constantly. No wonder Rob The Engineer and Nebraska Steve welcomed him into the family with open arms. He is my assistant coach for softball. He assists me. I've enjoyed being able to say that. Last two years it was the other way around. Like my other two brothers, I don't get many victories. So he's assisting me after one game, and decides to have a brilliant idea, and no filter, just blurts (runs in the family) it out, "Hey, how about a parent/coach versus player game?"

I didn't think it would actually catch on...My sole involvement in planning this event was batting my eyelashes at the varsity coach and sweet-talking him into letting us use the varsity field for the game. It actually worked! And even Steve admits he couldn't have gotten that done. Beyond that, he did all the work, made invitations for all the parents, blah blah blah. He's kind of a girl when it comes to stuff like that. He must get that from Laura. Oh yeah, I ordered the pizza.

Not expecting a huge turnout, I didn't give it too much thought...it's a busy time of year. Turns out, every parent we had was willing to knock off work early to play softball with their daughters. We had way too many players on the parent/coach team. We had daughters teaching mothers to bat, tagging out their fathers, and other such heartwarming moments. Our athletic trainer was even there, because, like us, she just really wanted any excuse to play a little ball. Steve and I look at each other and say, "You can't buy better PR than this." Sometimes he's a genius. Rob taught him well.

So everything is great and I'm really thinking Steve is OK afterall. I'm about to tell him what a winning idea I think this was. Here was my fatal mistake. I forgot, just for a fraction of a second, that he is my third brother.

After careful mental reconstruction, I pieced together most of what happened in that fraction of a second. Somewhere in there he conferred with Megan and Tori, two seniors who were our junior assistant coaches. I didn't process it: rookie mistake [palm slapping forehead]. The athletic trainer asked me something about leaving something, a cooler I think, with ice...again, didn't think about it. Tori asked me a question that struck me as slightly dumb for her [puzzled expression].  And then, in the Zapruder film, in FRAME 161, you can clearly see in slow-motion as Megan hefts up the Gatorade cooler (you know, the orange one; you've seen it on the sidelines at major sporting events...usually when they win something) and BAM!!! dumps it on me. If the film had audio, you'd hear me shriek with surprise and cold; our athletic trainer really loaded that puppy up with ice. FRAME 172 shows me visibly grabbing the top of my head, where Megan nailed me with the cooler. Can I get some stats on coaches injured by Gatorade dumpings? FRAME 180 shows me wringing out my clothing and looking from Megan to Tori to Amy, our trainer, to Steve, my third (and currently least favorite) brother. This, ladies and gentlemen, by definition is a conspiracy.

Sigh.

The things I do for America's Youth.

I am a little dizzy, and have a major freaking headache. It's like, take the brainfreeze you'd have from gulping down a mega-size, supercold Slurpie on a hot day, and then hit yourself in the head with a heavy plastic object. And my socks are soggy. Don't think I have an actual concussion, but it didn't tickle. Didn't think to worry about this with a 6-11-1 record.

To top it off, the athletic trainer told me she overhead the varsity coach say that if there was a wet tee-shirt contest, I would be the winner.

On second thought, maybe two brothers is enough.

End of softball, countdown to summer and why I wouldn't eat off the floors at the trade center...

It's been an absolutely gorgeous weekend...which I will admit I fully needed...not that last week was so hard, with MCAS and all, but the end of softball season is always a tiring time. My girls had three games in a row; the first was game 4 with an undefeated team...I think they plated over 100 runs against in four games. The second was a loss...I was trying to preserve my pitcher, putting all my eggs in one basket for the final game. I figured, we've had a tough season...our record is...unremarkable, but if we could end on a win, all would be well. Our last game of the season involves, of all places, a trip over the Cape Cod Canal...What a hike for a Hockomock League team!! So I make a little "psych-up" bag for each of my girls for the bus ride and spend the hour-plus ride strategizing about how to minimize my weaker players' impact...We get there and can't find the team on the field, so I track down the athletic director. He knows nothing about a frosh game; his JV and Varsity traveled to our house for a game. This is why I have my AD on speed dial; he swears the game has been scheduled and both Varsity coaches confirm it. But that doesn't put an opposing team on the field. And it doesn't shorten an hour bus ride home after no game. "Can we just run around the bases and slide into home?" my girls ask. The AD at the school pulls a $50 bill from his wallet and holds it out to me. That's a first. Not sure why I said no. So that was our season...Luckily we have a parent/coach vs. player game scheduled for Wednesday.

And I'm relieved that the season is over...it'll be nice to have my life back a bit. Especially as the Tweeter season kicks off.

Brody needs a bath bad, man...It's all this outside time and warmer weather. Poor little stinker...should Fabreeze his butt.

I think we're down to four weeks or something like that...three full weeks maybe...like no time basically. I think I am teaching summer school though, so I won't have much of a break till July. This year really can't end fast enough.

So yesterday was the big day:  Rob, Guy and I ran the Run to Remember's Half Marathon. What a neat course...From the world trade center, up Atlantic Avenue and then blah blah State Street to Cambridge along Memorial Drive and then back again, over the bridge, around the Common and then back again...13.1 miles, so a lot of it was a blur. Not Memorial Drive though, I remember most of that pretty well. But I did it, and I'm still just a bit sore. Nothing terrible. My new pair of Asics were good so I'm happy. After the race, which was thousands of people, everyone was collapsed on the blue carpet at the trade center and it just made me wonder if they would shampoo it before its next use...because it had to be pretty gross! That place had a funk to it!

So it makes me realize that I will need to do a bit of training before a full marathon, but I think I can do it. After that we pigged out at Maggiano's, which I love. Put back a lot of those calories. I can't wait to eat my way through a marathon's worth of calories!

Speaking of other momentous undertakings...I finished Moby Dick. Wow was that a slow read. I think I started it in February or March, and granted I've read about 10 other books at the same time, but even these last 200 pages I've been reading nonstop and it just took awhile. It's an interesting book...man am I glad I don't have to teach it. There's just a lot of pages, like 100s, with nothing happening. And it's amazing how quickly everything else moves after reading that.

Jackie and I did a little mini-golf the other day, which I wasn't sure I was in the right mood for, and I was right. I did have two holes in one, which is amazing, but I bogeyed like 5 other holes! I nearly threw my club a few times...and this kid behind us kept teeing off before we were off the hole...I almost chucked his ball in the water hazard (which is under a pirate ship). Maybe woulda been a better driving range kind of day...we hit the cages after that so I could get out some frustration.

Anyway...think I still have a few spare calories from yesterday (at least my sore muscles are telling me that better be the case after what I put them through) so that's where the chocolate cake enters...

Where did the weekend go? Have you seen it?

I'm not sure where my weekend went to...seem to have misplaced it...think I may have left it with a bottle of wine and a block of cheese...and an apple at Ash's new house in CT. And I shouldn't tell Brody that I spent the weekend with another doggie. Bella could potentially be another girlfriend for my little studmuffin, but Ashley seems convinced that she'd eat him. Maybe so.

But it was for sure good to see Ash and Lynn...Lynny and I manage to catch up more easily, because of our common schedule, but it had been way too long since I had caught up with Super Ash, so it was good to see her for sure. She took me to a super good diner...ha ha Super Lynn, that's what you get for leaving early!!! But I wish I had gotten the chocolate malt, Ash. Brody spent the weekend at camp...he's still tired!

Hmm...the kids take MCAS this week, so it's not much teaching. Should give me a chance to catch up on stuff. And to start packing up my classroom. I get to move rooms this summer. And teams. Long story. How many days are we down to? To give you an idea of my motivation level, a teacher on my team asked me this morning to go help out with some field trip permission slip stuff for other teachers,  I walked away, and said, "No way. I've got coffee to drink."

My girls have just three games left. Kind of relieved, even though I love them and have had a blast. I just kind of need my life back. Never matters the sport or the season, I'm always ready for it to be over. We finally whacked a team Saturday morning, so it was nice to actually be on the winning end of the slaughter rule.

Very little else going on. I think there's some chocolate chip cookie dough calling my name.

My third Monday in a row...

Every day this week has been a Monday. Today, I remembered my coffee (because I got it when I stopped at Dunkin Donuts), my phone and my purse, so I'm thinking I've beat the Monday Syndrome. I couldn't bring my Special K to work though, because yesterday when I had cereal I must have been afraid I'd misplace the milk in my refrigerator, so I decided to make it easy to find...by leaving it out on the counter all day. BAH! New gallon too. So...no cereal for me. OK. I'm better than this, I think. And I was better than this...for about a minute.  Until, as I head out to my car, I trip walking down the stairs and barely catch myself from falling headfirst down them. One of those falls where your flip-flop catches and it still makes a big thud because you catch yourself. That would have been bad.

My girls lost again today. Slaughter rule again. I hate admitting my superstions, but I think it may have been because I couldn't find my lucky orange pencil and had to keep the book in pen. We were up on them, hitting well, running well, a coupld of quick innings defensively, and then BLAM! we have the fourth inning. They batted around twice. Plated 15 runs. 15. We had like 7 or 8 batters in between outs. Oy. It was a 9-9 game apart from that inning. With that inning...we lost by two touchdowns and a field goal. I'm beginning to wonder if the pencil's absence was at fault after all. It's possible we were distracted by a pre-game injury sustained by one of my girls. She took a pop-fly off the nose while taking infield. That's two pop-ups off the face this year for girls on my team, if you're keeping score at home. The last girl sustained a "stitch-shaped" scar on her forehead and never actually came back to play. I think this kid'll come back; the poor thing kept apologizing that her nose was gushing blood.  I  informed her that there are probably way easier ways to score a ride on the athletic trainer's golf cart. 

So yeah. We lost.

And the indoor team lost a tough one last night. This team was just much better than us, but still it smarts a little when you lose close games. I think I actually prefer being on indoor teams that get stomped by double-digit scores; at least there are no expectations and consequently no disappointments.

Sigh. I give up. Can I just say, "uncle" and have the Monday Monster let me out of the sleeper hold?!

A beautiful day...for a Monday.

At least the weather was gorgeous today. It was SUCH a Monday, other than that. Woke up later than I wanted to, couldn't find the shirt I wanted to wear, walked out the door without my coffee and had to go back, drove away without mailing the letter I needed to mail...so I had to go back. This is a lot to handle pre-coffee. [Sigh]

I just wasn't feeling it today. One of those rare Mondays where I don't chat with my kids at all, don't ask them if they missed me over the weekend; I just tell them to take out their homework. I hate being like that...it's no fun but that's all I had today.

My pitcher got snagged by the JV team again. This has been a problem lately. On Friday she was tired from her Wednesday game with them, where they used her 5 innings so she had nothing left for us. Poor kid's arm is gonna fall off. We have Wednesday/Thursday games this week so I told her to fake a sore arm after an inning or two. We'll see. I am still sore myself from Friday's game; it was the birthday of my assistant coach (It was also Marie's birthday on the 2nd; but she and I managed to celebrate without the need for me to sustain any injuries). Since the team didn't manage a win for his birthday, the team asked him what he wanted. He pulled them in for a huddle and I didn't even have to wait for it; I just dropped my scorebook to protect the team's stats. I knew he was going for the pig-pile. Before I knew it, my catcher completely leveled me to the ground and the team piled on. Good thing they're all tiny girls! But I still sustained some bruises.  I told her if she ever wanted to play rugby, she had some potential.

Lynny's birthday is today. Happy Birthday/Drinco de Mayo Super Lynn!

Rob and I have an early soccer game tomorrow. I guess it'll be nice to not be out at midnight on a Tuesday.

Wait, what was I complaining about? Anyway... I have tons of papers to grade. I have laundry to do. My dog is crazy and my fantasy baseball team last week lost to a team called The Adverbs. [Sigh]
I don't like Mondays.

S'Mores, meals with friends, and the warm spot where my dog was lying...

I find myself dreading school tomorrow. Oh well. That doesn't happen all that often, but for some reason I'm just not feeling it. Oh well.

So I have finally given in and gotten myself a Facebook account. There are just too many people I know who do it; I caved in to the peer pressure.  I added my sister-in-law as a friend recently and now she keeps "poking" me. Two weeks ago, I had no idea what Facebook even looked like/did, (except for what Marie told me, and this girl at the Tweeter last year hiding from one of her "friends." It didn't make sense that you should want to have people as friends without actually knowing them or wanting to, you know, see them) and next thing you know I'm throwing sheep at her. How did this happen?

I met up with Marie yesterday for lunch and got to see her doggies. Brody was a little mad at me, but it was nothing some leftovers couldn't fix. But then...I went to Mark and Deirdre's house this morning for brunch and came home smelling like Alfie, Lucy and Doris...that took some explaining. But we had a great brunch and took a walk on the beach. My little boy is totally pouting right now as if he's completely neglected. He's maybe a little starved for attention...

I'm a little jealous since Steve (who is my second-favorite brother) told me he and Erin saw Daniel Tosh in person. I would like to see him at some point...but he'll never come to a sleepy town like Boston when he's big enough to play places like Lincoln, Nebraska.

I had a weird craving for marshmallows...really just on their own, but then I realized that I own chocolate and graham crackers so I couldn't help making some s'mores.

Poor B-Man...I should take him outside. He keeps napping on the floor under my chair and then he gets up and there's this little heated patch of my floor where he was lying. I think he's just pouting because I didn't make him a s'more.  I can't really string together thoughts any more coherent than that.

I got nothing else. If you'll excuse me I think I have to go throw a cow at someone.

   

Whaddya mean it's not summer vacation??!!

Marie and I both had that realization today: we have to go back to school on Monday. When have we ever had such gorgeous April vacation weather? Makes it really hard to remember that there's still like 8 weeks to go. I know, all you year-round job people out there wanna kill me right now for even whining about this, but I'm going to whine anyway. It really felt like summer vacation this week. Except for softball practice and games every day. And seeing my students everywhere I went (Most recently J.Crew).

Oh well. It will go by quickly. I mean, it's hard to believe, I have only like 3 weeks left of softball season. Crazy. It's a week till our next game, which happens to land on someone's birthday...Now it's just a matter of getting everything done that I want to teach before the school year ends. And it'll be really interesting to find out who I am working with next year...Oh the possibilities!

Lynny and I had a nice day yesterday in Connecticut. We went to a winery near ... shhh! Ash's summer cottage! Don't tell her we were nearby. We would've stopped by, Ash, to see if your parents were there, but we couldn't ring the doorbell...because your cottage is on an island and I left my rowboat home. [Sigh]
But we tried some interesting wines...I did not like that peppery one, SuperLynn! I think Lynn's gonna be a pro-wine-taster someday. She just needs more practice.
[I'm sorry, did the "RAYS" just score first?? Ugh. And who saw Pedroia's hit NOT come down from the roof of that whacko place?!]
Anyway. Lynny and I then went to Mystic for some dinner in the outdoors...which is conveniently toward home for me, but away from Brooklyn for Whirlwind. Sorry Lynn. That's why you should come back here.

Yesterday afternoon I had a message from the management of my apartment complex, telling me that my upstairs neighbors' dryer isn't working. Good to know. The bad news is they need to get to the fan thing-a-ma-hoosie which is in my ceiling above my linen closet in my bedroom. So, could they access it and could I clean out my linen closet? Um. Hmm.. That's kind of annoying. So I call today and after re-explaining to them the message they left me, they put the maintenance guy on the line, who says, "You have your linen closet cleaned out yet?"
"No. About that. It's really inconvenient."
"Is there anyone home now?"
"[chuckles] My dog. But he's not gonna let you in."
"Well, Monday we've got fire inspections to do."
"Not my problem."
"I'll try to put my dog elsewhere for the day, but if I can't, I can't, and he's not going to be happy to see you...you know, in my closet."

Anyway. Just be thankful for the privacy and security of your linen closets, you homeowners out there. Mine are subject to entry at all times... [Sigh]

Today I had softball practice early...came home and went for a walk with the B-Man. I hadn't noticed him snacking too heavily on the flora out there in the great outdoors...but evidently he had himself some kind of a lawn/turf salad, (his weight loss plan?) because we came back inside and he settles himself up on my comforter and projectile vomits this gooey day-glo yellow/green stuff, with about a dozen blades of grass mixed in. It was one of those continuous vomit spells too, where he takes a step back, yarfs some more. Step back, blah, step back, blah, step sideways, blah. It was like the cha-cha. But gross. So then I had to wash my comforter/sheets, which I doused in detergent. I must have looked like an arsonist, pouring the keg of All Detergent all over it...we'll see how the wash comes out...I may yet have to incinerate my bedclothes.

All I can think is: thank goodness my remaining linens stayed safely tucked inside my linen closet.